We open on the gang kicking it in the streets at what seems like a festival or a carnival of some kind. When we cut in close, we find that Teela, Prince Adam, and Orko are hanging out with some random boy. His name is Rikki, and surprisingly, he seems to be with Teela and not Prince Adam. Prince Adam and the Rikki are really excited because it’s King Randor’s birthday party, and when King Randor parties, he fucking parties. Teela suggests that, more than the party, maybe the Rikki is pumped about the award King Randor is giving his parents’ animal sanctuary. “Fuck that noise, I’m here to party!” Rikki says enthusiastically.
After Prince Adam explains to Orko what a sanctuary is, Teela gets on Rikki’s case about his Republican attitude toward animal sanctuaries, “Don’t you care about the sanctuary, Rikki?” Teela asks softly, her hips thrust out at him as she stands turned away. Rikki concedes only an inch, then goes on to point out how much more fun a party is than shoveling shit. A little dog-like creature growls at Teela when she tries to pet it, but Rikki grabs it by the scruff of the neck and picks it up, saying these things get angry when they’re hungry. Prince Adam suggests they take the dog to the sanctuary and get him a Snickers and have Rikki’s father check them out.
Out at the sanctuary, Beast Man happens to be about. He’s up in a tree and shoves some device into the trunk. Skeletor comes in over the built-in radio and tells Beast Man to stay there until the device is activated. “But I don’t have to like it!” Beast Man shouts after Skeletor clicks off. Inside the sanctuary facilities, we meet Dr. Sheveen. His speech is as quirky as the grey streaks in his hair. He tells Prince Adam they have a big problem. They haven’t seen the “uh, big-toothed furlongs” in a week, which is unusual. Dr. Sheveen’s use of the speech disfluency “uh” makes it sound as if he’s making up the name of this animal. Rikki suggests the animals may have gone to Blue Valley to cool off – he tracked them there once. Prince Adam suggests they’ll head out there to check for Dr. Sheveen. Rikki is pissed because he’s going to miss the rest of the party for this bullshit. Should have kept your mouth shut, Rikki.
Not far away, Skeletor’s Collector is parked out in the woods. Some short, nerdy scientist guy is working on a control panel inside and tells Skeletor that the anger-ray is ready. Nearby, Prince Adam and crew have found the furlongs. They look like big blue panthers with horns on their heads. Orko is afraid to go near them, but Rikki assures them that they’re harmless. Suddenly, the furlongs disappear, almost by magic. Orko immediately announces his innocence. “Well, if you didn’t do it, who did?” Prince Adam asks. We cut back inside the Collector where the little man, Maddok, is saying, “I did it, I did it”. Maddok assures Skeletor they have the furlongs under their control and stored on tape until they are ready to release them. Evil-Lyn panics when she realizes that Prince Adam saw the furlongs disappear.
Don’t worry, Maddok has a plan to delay Prince Adam before he can run tell ‘dat, at least until it’s too late. Maddok chuckles as he activates some levers. Back out in the woods, everyone is standing around confused. “I don’t get it. The furlongs couldn’t have just disappeared, could they?” Teela asks. Close by, the chimperillas are going nuts and making a lot of noise. Orko yells at them to hold it down as they dance and go nuts. Orko gets really upset and starts arguing with them, which just makes them laugh. Rikki says chimperillas think everything is funny. “Oh, really? Let’s see how funny they’ll find this!” Skeletor says. Maddok activates the anger-ray, which causes the chimperillas to get, well, angry and start throwing their shit at everyone. I don’t know, still seems like par for the course for monkeys to me.
All take refuge from the barrage of flying shit. Prince Adam goes to try and find a way around the rocks. “Just like Adam,” Teela says, “always leaving when the real fun begins.” Obviously, Prince Adam has run off to recycle some animation. He-Man jumps down right into the barrage of shit and starts catching and collecting it all. “Oh boy, it’s He-Man!” Rikki shouts. A boulder is about to come tumbling down from above, but one of the chimperillas has caught its foot and can’t flee the path of impending doom. He-Man sprints over and leaps on top of the boulder, which seems like a bad idea. He brings his power sword down on it, and we see it crack, but then we cut to He-Man holding the boulder above his head before he just throws it aside. I don’t really know what just happened.
“Gosh, He-Man, that was great! I was really worried about them!” Rikki says. “Oh? I thought animals were too much trouble, and not that interesting” Teela says to Rikki in her low, kind of sexy, very judgmental tone. Rikki tries to save face and says they are too much trouble. Imagine if they had been smushed and Rikki had to clean up all the blood and gore? Somehow, Evil-Lyn missed the part where Prince Adam ran off and became He-man, even though she’s been watching them on a monitor in the Collector the whole time. Maddok has an idea to keep He-Man busy. “I hope it’s better than your last idea, or it will be your last idea!” Skeletor snaps at him. He’s going to use the crawlers! Even just thinking about them makes Skeletor itchy!
Apparently crawlers are big snakes, which promptly show up to give the good guys trouble. “Great. Just what we need. Crawlers,” Teela says, not happy. Orko uses a spell on them, “Crawlers, crawlers, please don’t stay, come again some other day.” This just causes them to multiply. Everyone runs for cover but they seem to be everywhere. Inside the Collector Skeletor checks with Maddok to make sure the furlongs are still stored on tape. Maddok goes to show Skeletor, but makes one of them appear inside the Collector on accident. Just as quickly, he sends it back to tape. “Uh, uh, forgive me master, there was a slight mistake, um,” Maddok grovels. Then he does it right and shows Skeletor. Good, now they’re set to release a bunch of angry furlongs on King Randor’s birthday party. How nice of Skeletor to remember King Randor’s birthday!
Out in the woods, He-Man remarks that he doesn’t want to harm the crawlers because they are obviously under someone’s control. They finally figure out that Skeletor is behind all this. Rikki has an idea – the crawlers have really sensitive hearing, so if they can make some high pitched sounds, they may be able to make their heads pop like in Scanners. He-Man sticks the power sword in the ground and gives the hilt a good whack. The sword vibrates back and forth rapidly. He-Man tweaks the vibration by holding his hands on either side, and a high-pitched tone emits from the sword. It works, but the crawlers take off before their heads explode. Good thing, that would have been a lot of murders for He-Man to rack up near the end of the season. He’s been pretty good thus far, with only 4 kills to his name in the second season. Rikki and He-Man trade thank-yous and trade credit for a minute prior to heading back to the sanctuary before “Skeletor thinks of something … like … more mischief,” He-Man says.
Back the Royal Palace, some royally pissed furlongs appear in the courtyard where families and kids are celebrating innocently. Everyone screams and runs for their lives as the furlongs begin chasing them about. An oblivious group of friends dining together nearly get ripped to shreds. King Randor comes to his window to see what all the terrified screaming is about and sees furlongs running around, trying to maul his party guests. That’s not going to be good PR. King Randor’s advisors want to destroy the creatures, but King Randor refuses to allow it and walks away. He’s like, “If only He-Man were here.” “But He-Man is here, your majesty,” He-Man says as he enters the room. Come on, He-Man clearly said they were going back to the sanctuary, not the palace!
King Randor is deeply concerned about how to protect his people while bringing no harm to the furlongs. Rikki has another one of his ideas. They will lure the furlongs to the sanctuary wall and use the loading gate to get them inside. He-Man jumps down in front of them and says, “Hey there! How about a game of tag!” before he runs off. They fall for it and go chasing after him. He taunts them as he runs to the gate. Rikki opens the gate and He-Man jumps on top of the wall, but the furlongs keep going and run right in. It worked, even though He-Man should have run in too, to make sure they entered. Rikki closes the gate and shouts, “You… oh, WE did it!” Inside the shelter facility, Dr. Sheveen is explaining that the animal’s anger seems to be coming from some kind of ray, which is originating right here on the sanctuary grounds. It just so happens that Man-Am-Arms has already whipped up a tracking device for He-Man.
Inside the Collector, Skeletor is demanding to know why He-Man was able to handle the furlongs so easily. Maddok just stutters and Skeletor moves on without a response. He puts his fists in the air and shakes them while he moans about how it really chaps his ass that King Randor is having a fun party while Skeletor is having no fun at all. You know, I would think trying to ruin King Randor’s birthday would be all the fun Skeletor could want! We cut to Beast Man, still standing up in the tree with the device while Skeletor’s voice comes trough it, still speaking to Maddok, “If it doesn’t work this time, I’m giving Beast Man his job back!” Beast Man is begging for it not to work. Don’t worry, it won’t.
Skeletor spots He-Man and his friends back in the sanctuary and shakes his fists in the air again so he can think. Skeletor gets an idea. Elodons and garks are natural enemies, so Skeletor orders Maddok to transport these animals on either side of He-Man. This way, when they attack each other, they will have to go right through the good guys. Out in the sanctuary, a gust of wind from the now-near Elodon’s trunks blows Orko to the side. Just as Teela is remarking that they have a problem, Rikki points out they have TWO problems; the garks have appeared on the opposite side. “I knew I should have stayed in bed today!” Orko whines.
Elsewhere, He-Man’s tracker has led him to several trees. He-Man supposes the device is in one of them. As he’s fussing about how long it will take to search all of them, Beast Man pokes his head out and says, “Pssst. He-Man. Looking for something?” as he points up. Beast Man walks away and after he’s cleared several yards, he mutters, “That should take care of that machine.” He-Man leaps up the trunk a good ten feet where he grabs on. We cut to the Collector, where Evil-Lyn is flipping out because He-Man has found the anger-ray. Skeletor is pissed because Maddok said it couldn’t be tracked. Maddok throws himself on the ground, groveling for Skeletor’s forgiveness. He begs for another chance, but Skeletor is pretty fed up with this squat little sad sack. Maddok swears he has a foolproof plan, and like a chump, Skeletor goes for it.
Teela, Rikki, and Orko are really in a bind as the animal gang war closes in on them. Rikki tells Orko to chill the fuck out because these animals don’t really want to hurt anybody. No, those crocodile looking garks wouldn’t hurt a fly, if not for Skeletor’s meddling. Inside the collector, Skeletor is standing over Maddok, mushing him on. Maddok is going as fast as he can, but Skeletor shouts, “We’re too late to further disrupt the party, but there’s always next year!” What, does he have a psychic connection to the birthday party? Did it just end abruptly, mid-afternoon, and Skeletor knew the exact minute it happened? Beast Man readies the Collector to leave, and I wonder, as I usually do when he flies, if it’s safe to let the drunkard fly the ship. Look at those eyes; he’s been nursing his wounds on the bottle out in the woods all day!
While Beast Man is preparing the ship, Maddok causes the anger-ray to anger some insects near He-Man to buy them time. Nearby by He-Man has finally reached the anger-ray up in the tree. That must have been a longer climb than the last game piece was up in the tree in last week’s episode. He-Man sees the collector taking off and grabs on to the top of the tree, pulling it down. Skeletor’s voice comes through the anger-ray, telling He-Man that the device is his. As He-Man mounts the device on the bent over treetop, He-Man tells Skeletor that he wouldn’t want him to have left anything behind. He plugs the angry beehive hole with the anger-ray, then lets her rip. It files right inside the Collector, smashing Maddok’s computer monitor. The bees that were following the device swarm on everyone and everything.
Down in the sanctuary, Teela, Rikki, and Orko are still trapped in between the warring animals. Teela asks Rikki if there’s anything they can do. Rikki tells her that the problem is the elodons are in the garks’ territory, and they can’t leave without a fight. Rikki thinks that if they can lead the elodons away and across the stream, the garks won’t follow them. Conveniently, Rikki is friends with one of the elodons, the really big one, and it likes to hear him whistle. He whistles at it and the elodon trumpets back. Rikki then leads them all to and across the stream, and, after a very long series of dramatic elodon riding clips, back to their territory. He-Man approaches and Teela tells He-Man how Rikki saved the animals. He-Man offers that there’s still time to get back to the party, but Rikki declines – he wants to see how his animal friends are. “I guess they are part of my family,” Rikki says of the animals. He-Man replies, “You know something, Rikki? We’re all part of one big family.”
Time for this week’s moral! I think it should be about how it’s kind of sad that King Randor throws this huge party for his birthday, but then just stays upstairs all day, and doesn’t even seem to notice that his son has been missing all day, and that neither he, nor Teela, nor Orko came to tell him happy birthday. That’s kind of fucked up. Instead, He-Man, Orko, Teela, and Rikki come on screen to tell us, well actually, they just kind of summarize the episode by conversing about it. However, Rikki adds that anything worth doing is worth doing well. He just had to grow up a little to realize helping the animals means something to him. He really means it when he says, “grow up a little”, like only a few hours’ worth maturation. “Well, growing up isn’t easy, Rikki. Not for anyone,” He-Man says.
He-Man murder count:
Season 1: 19
Season 2: 4
Episodes missing Skeletor:
Season 1: 28
Season 2: 25
IMDB Cast List:
John Erwin: He-Man, Prince Adam, Beast Man, Maddok
Alan Oppenheimer: Skeletor, Dr. Sheveen
Linda Gary: Teela, Evil-Lyn, Rikki
Lou Scheimer: Orko, King Randor, Palace Guests